Holiday Episode

Summary

In this episode of the Ginger and Chocolate podcast, hosts Mike and Lindsay discuss their holiday plans, and family traditions. They reflect on their past holiday experiences, including feelings of loneliness and the impact of sobriety on social situations. The conversation also touches on New Year's celebrations and the wild memories from their drinking days, ultimately leading to a discussion on gratitude and personal growth during the holiday season. In this conversation, Lindsay Hiken and Mike discuss their experiences with sobriety, particularly around the New Year, and how they navigate the holiday season. They reflect on the importance of gratitude, family, and setting intentions for the upcoming year. Lindsay shares her journey of self-care and the inner work she is focusing on, including therapy and meditation. The conversation concludes with thoughts on future plans and the significance of maintaining a positive mindset during the holidays.

Takeaways

• Lindsay shares her struggles with sleep and her dog's nightmares.
• Mike discusses hosting Christmas Eve dinner for his family.
• The hosts reflect on the importance of family traditions during the holidays.
• Lindsay talks about the challenges of gift-giving for adult children.
• Mike mentions the fun of hunting and preparing a smoked ham for Christmas.
• Lindsay shares her plans for a pre-made Christmas dinner with her son.
• The hosts discuss their New Year's Eve traditions and celebrations.
• Lindsay reflects on the loneliness experienced during past holidays.
• Mike shares his experiences of being away from family during the holidays in the Marines.
• The conversation emphasizes gratitude for the present holiday experiences compared to the past. Sobriety can lead to surprising and positive experiences during holidays.
• Gratitude for family and life is essential during the holiday season.
• Setting intentions can be more meaningful than traditional resolutions.
• Self-care involves addressing inner negative voices and seeking therapy.
• Meditation and positive affirmations can aid in self-improvement.
• Planning is crucial for successful experiences, especially in activities like cycling.
• Reflecting on past intentions can help in personal growth.
• Sober parties can provide a fun and supportive environment during celebrations.
• It's important to find joy in the present rather than always seeking more.
• The holiday season can be a time for reflection and gratitude.

Keywords

holidays, family traditions, gift giving, New Year's, sobriety, loneliness, gratitude, New Year's, sobriety, gratitude, family, intentions, resolutions, self-care, therapy, meditation, positive affirmations

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Transcript

Mike (00:01.388)
Hey everybody, welcome to the ginger and chocolate podcast. My name is Mike and I'm with my cohost Lindsay. Lindsay, what's up?

Lindsay Hiken (00:08.655)
Hey Mike, hey listeners, not much. It's early in the morning as you know, we recorded at the ass crack of dawn, which is cool, except that I slept like garbage last night. did you? Let me just tell you what happened. So this is my second night in a row of bad sleep. And the first night is because I got up, so night before last, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Mike (00:16.247)
Yes.

Mike (00:22.184)
me too. Yep.

You

Lindsay Hiken (00:39.063)
And somehow I stubbed my middle toe so hard that I broke a toe. It was so freaking painful, but I didn't realize at the time that I broke it. just was like, So I went back to sleep or tried and every time I moved, you know, like shooting pain and go and throw my foot and wake me up. So I woke up yesterday finally and got out of bed and I was like, it's like cricket and black and blue.

Mike (00:45.593)
Lindsay Hiken (01:08.751)
So I taped it to another toe because that's what I heard you're supposed to do and whatever. And then last night I just couldn't sleep and I finally fell asleep and my dog had like a nightmare and started growling and barking and crap in the middle of the night. It was like everybody shut up. I need to get some sleep. So that's my my thing. How about you?

Mike (01:28.888)
Yeah.

Mike (01:32.95)
I just have an eight-year-old who still wants to come in and interrupt my sleep at night and hogs things so it's it's freaking out there we go yeah so I I'm constantly wrestling to get a blanket

Lindsay Hiken (01:42.607)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (01:55.407)
yeah, they like to take those when they come into bed. It's funny. So today we are going to talk about holiday stuff, just random holiday stuff, because this will be, this is the week before Christmas holiday and it'll be the last episode we have before that holiday. So I figured we might as well talk about all things good and bad or

Mike (01:59.426)
Yeah.

Mike (02:14.958)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (02:24.783)
Maybe not bad, but annoying about the holidays. What are your plans? Do you have plans?

Mike (02:29.015)
Yeah.

Mike (02:32.834)
Yeah, we always host a Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas in my house for my extended family. So yeah, we're kind of the hub for people and holidays. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. And, good to see the, the usually, you know, my, my siblings will come over, grandparents.

Lindsay Hiken (02:37.646)
That's awesome.

Lindsay Hiken (02:46.191)
That's awesome, actually, to be the hub.

Mike (03:02.306)
mom and or dad and uncles aunts so it's it's fun a lot of fun

Lindsay Hiken (03:08.751)
How many siblings do you have? I know you have a sister.

Mike (03:13.974)
I have two sisters and a brother.

Lindsay Hiken (03:16.003)
Ooh, there's a lot of you. All redheads? Everyone ginger? Okay. So only half are crazy. We won't say which ones I'm referring to. Okay, so does Sarah have to do like a shit ton of cooking or what?

Mike (03:17.846)
Yeah, no only half, half reds half blondes.

Mike (03:26.178)
Yep. Yep.

Mike (03:38.518)
Yeah. And sometimes, it, it depends. Like the last couple of years I've, I've, gotten a, hunted a pig. And so we've had a smoked ham from that pig.

Lindsay Hiken (03:52.409)
Holy moly.

Mike (03:54.446)
And so it's just reheating that, but yeah, she's better at cooking than I am. So I'm more of a cleaner. Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (03:56.661)
Mm-hmm.

the hunter and then she can just, yeah, that's good, that works, that works. kind of cool that you're bringing in your food yourself for Christmas, that's awesome. Yeah, I do too. Yeah, I like it too, not anything I'm gonna do, but I like it. I talked last week on the episode with Steve about learning to shoot the gun that we have in our house for safety reasons.

Mike (04:12.812)
Yeah, yeah, I like that. I like that tradition.

Mike (04:20.545)
Yeah.

Mike (04:30.199)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (04:31.309)
but I'm not gonna be like shooting well enough to shoot something other than potentially someone who comes into our house if I somehow got into Josh's room, found the locked box somewhere, opened it, loaded the gun and then did it. of that are pretty slim. But you know, you never know.

So, okay, so you have your whole family cooking. Did you do a pig this year or that was last year?

Mike (05:03.022)
I have, I still have a ham from last year. I don't know if we're going to do that or do a turkey or a ham. So to be determined.

Lindsay Hiken (05:16.043)
Okay, so I used to, I think my family had more traditions back way back in the day, you know, my my parents were a little bit of the hub, I mean, my family's pretty spread out, we're in different states. But my parents were kind of the hub for that. So people would come from out of town. And when we were little, and we'd all stay together. But

Mike (05:30.093)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (05:40.087)
as we've gotten older because we are still all spread out across like so my mom and one sister are in Oregon. I'm in California. And then one sister is in Ohio. And we all have families, so we don't necessarily all get together anymore. But we'll be with our families and.

Mike (05:57.538)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (06:03.159)
Sometimes we do make it to get together. But so this year, my son is coming out for a week from the East Coast. Yeah, very excited. I have the week off from work and he and I are just going to hang out. He's a young adult now, so he bought his own plane ticket. And so he's flying here on Christmas Day and he's flying home on New Year's Day because those were like the cheapest fly days.

Mike (06:09.962)
nice.

Mike (06:28.397)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (06:31.639)
which is fine and he gets in at like noon on Christmas Day. So we'll do a dinner, just me and Josh and Hilton. And I'm not much of a cook. I can cook and I did own a restaurant, but I don't cook anymore. So we're getting a pre-made whole Christmas dinner from New Leaf, which is like a, it's like a mini Whole Foods that's here in Half Moon Bay. Yeah. Yeah.

Mike (06:58.136)
I see. Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (07:01.677)
So turkey with all of the stuff. then the next day on the 26th, my daughter and her husband are gonna come over and we're gonna have another sort of family Christmas because she's gonna be with his family on Christmas day. So it's gonna be two days of just eating, essentially. Yeah, I'm excited and.

You know, it's gotten hard to figure out what to get my kids for Christmas because they are adults. And there was this they were little. You could get them toys. You know what they wanted. They said what they wanted. And then they got to an age where they were like, what we want is cash and for you to leave us alone. that's teenagers. So I got them, you know, like gift cards and things like that. But now they're adults. They have their own jobs like giving something like.

Mike (07:33.282)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (07:52.099)
cash and a card seems very impersonal because they have their own cash now. So I'm trying to figure out what to get them. I honestly don't know. I'm still working on it. So we'll see. Something's got to happen here. I only have like a You know, I work best under pressure. I was reading about.

Mike (07:57.848)
Yeah.

Mike (08:10.284)
You work well under pressure.

Lindsay Hiken (08:18.415)
Totally off topic, not holiday topic, but I was reading about some ADHD symptoms. There's a lot of them and I don't have them all, but one of the things is just putting everything off and being unable to perform until there's pressure. Basically just not being able to do it. And that's kind how I am, at least with the Christmas gifts and work. Those are the two things I can't.

So let's see. What about New Year's?

Mike (08:54.574)
New Year's not as big. This year actually we'll be going, leaving on vacation New Year's Eve. But we've had, I mean, as long as we've had kids that could understand the concept of it, we've watched the ball drop in New York and then said, now it's New Year's and then gone to bed at nine.

Lindsay Hiken (09:15.695)
Hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (09:19.715)
Yeah. Absolutely. I don't ever stay up till midnight. Well, I did when I was drinking.

Mike (09:30.53)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Lindsay Hiken (09:32.979)
Once I wasn't drinking, I was like, who cares? You know, I mean, so I definitely am with you like night. My bedtime doesn't change just because it's New Year's Eve and I try to stay close to home or, you know, maybe go over to a friend's house or something, but close because, you know, in a one of the things people say about New Year's Eve.

Mike (09:36.312)
Yeah, yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (10:01.359)
Fourth of July, certain holidays like that is that it's amateur hour, meaning there's a lot of drunk people out there who don't usually aren't drunk and they're driving and they're being stupid. so, mm-hmm.

Mike (10:05.858)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (10:15.67)
Yeah, exactly. It's not a night for a long drive.

Lindsay Hiken (10:21.269)
No, no, It's amazing I didn't hurt myself or someone else because I definitely was, although I wasn't an amateur drinker, I was a pro. I was someone who would black out and drive and didn't know I was driving. So I just got lucky in that I wasn't one of those people who did something.

Mike (10:40.408)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (10:48.344)
Same here. Yep.

Lindsay Hiken (10:51.233)
Do you ever have the urge to like drink or party or something on a holiday?

Mike (11:00.652)
Not really. No, I thought about it because I went to a Christmas party over the weekend and I was the one person not drinking. and I thought about it and I was like, I don't think it would be fun for me anymore. So I just have the knowledge of, you know, how, how it goes for me.

Lindsay Hiken (11:19.832)
Right.

Lindsay Hiken (11:25.812)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm with you on that. think I rarely have the thought that a drink would be a good idea. I never have the thought it'd be a good idea. Sometimes I think, by the way, if you're hearing like weird noise in the background, my dog is laying outside my door whining.

Mike (11:38.254)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (11:48.074)
nice.

Lindsay Hiken (11:49.121)
And I'm not letting her in here because she only wants in because the door shut. And as soon as she comes in, she'll want back out. So she's not she's not coming out. But.

So I rarely have that thought of like, I would like a drink. And I don't have it like on a holiday. I don't call having it on the holiday other than my first, first holiday season. But I have, you know, during some of the Christmas parties and stuff that you go to that are not on the holiday, I would say that normies, which if you guys aren't listeners aren't familiar with.

Mike (12:12.526)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (12:30.223)
12 step lingo. A normie means someone who can do the thing and not have, isn't an alcoholic, for example, or a drug addict. those of you who can have like a glass of wine or two glasses of wine and go about your life without destroying it, you are a normie. For me, one drinks too much, a thousand is never enough. So not gonna be able to do that, but.

Mike (12:38.179)
Yeah.

Mike (12:45.036)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (12:55.823)
What I was going to say is I was like a wine and shampers drinker. Loved a little chard, loved a little champagne. That was my, that's what brought me to my knees, which is insane. But I have had situations where like a lovely holiday party, I see normies drinking and they make it look fun and easy, you know? And I would say more than, I don't think, I.

Mike (13:05.902)
Yeah.

Mike (13:19.97)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (13:25.423)
I could be like that because I'm clear that I couldn't, but I do feel this sort of pang of jealousy is too strong of a word, like, dang, wouldn't that be nice with everyone else to have a little cheers and be able to do that and then just walk away. But that's never been my deal. But I have had those little pangs of like envy, I guess is a good word to use.

Mike (13:42.145)
Yeah.

Mike (13:48.376)
Yeah, yeah, that's, I've had that occasionally. And then I was trying to think it's not really that I also want to be drunk. Usually it's usually that I'm just kind of on the outside of an experience.

Lindsay Hiken (14:05.839)
Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that's one of the things that's talked about a lot in sobriety is just wanting to be a part of part of the group, part of, you know, a community, a part of something. And and drugs and alcohol being a vehicle to feel a part of even if your behavior was actually anti social when you were drinking.

Mike (14:31.374)
You

Lindsay Hiken (14:34.467)
feelings didn't match the actions a lot of times for me. I'm alienating people and I'm like, we're we're having fun together. And they're like, No, you're awful. Can't stand you. Trying to get away from you. You know, I think that holiday time can be a hard time for people. Because maybe it's not like happy family get together time.

Mike (15:01.262)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (15:02.611)
and it could feel lonely if you're away from your family or, you know, away from your friends, that kind of stuff. Did you experience anything like, like, because I know, were you gone in the Marines over the holidays?

Mike (15:16.726)
Yeah, a couple of times. Yeah, twice. Once in boot camp, I did all the holidays in boot camp. And then the next time I was in Iraq for all the holidays, yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (15:32.737)
And do you guys do something?

to acknowledge the holidays and help soldiers kind of get through that part of being separated or?

Mike (15:44.619)
I'm trying to think like on Thanksgiving, they had a, I think a meal with Turkey in it. And then, yeah, yeah. but I mean, it was, it was in the middle of we were still in the city of Palooza. there's, I mean, still people were on guard and, wasn't totally relaxing. And then,

Lindsay Hiken (15:53.167)
That sounds really yummy.

Lindsay Hiken (16:04.185)
you

Mike (16:12.526)
Christmas I was I was stationed in the Abu Ghraib prison and So they had a really nice Christmas dinner I can't remember what it was. It was nicer than the average one, but

It was close enough to where it reminded you that you were gone far away. But those weren't as bad because, I mean, all my friends were there. I think harder is the ones for people that don't have people with them over holidays.

Lindsay Hiken (16:36.675)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (16:52.655)
Yeah, yeah. I experienced one of those holidays when I was divorcing the father of my children and really diving into my alcoholism. I didn't so I didn't have him and the kids were with him and I was still in the DC metropolitan area. So none of my family lived anywhere near there.

and I didn't have it together well enough to fly somewhere. Plus I just think, you know, at that time I was like, if I go see my mom or something, I'm going to be, I'm a mess. I'm not going to able to drink the way I want to drink. I'm not sure that that was a conscious thought, but that was the truth. You know, there was a lot of pain happening with

Mike (17:39.809)
Yeah.

Mike (17:43.554)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (17:46.871)
the divorce and the kids and stuff. And so I really didn't want to take a sober breath. So what ended up happening is I went out to a bar on Christmas Eve and did what I do when I have any drink, which is drink till I can't drink anymore. then.

somehow stumbled home and woke up on Christmas day with a massive hangover and laid around by myself and just watched like Christmas shows on TV and cried and then found a liquor store that was open and bought more booze and because that was painful to being like alone, you know, and that was it. And then got drunk by myself, like the most sad, pathetic.

Mike (18:28.684)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (18:36.505)
holiday. was just really, I think about that sometimes. And you know, that was not a catalyst for me to stop drinking at all. Like I didn't miss a step, you know, I'm lonely, don't have my kids, don't have my family with me. It's just me and my multiple bottles of Chardonnay. And

I was sort of like, my attitude was like, poor me, which it is sad, but it's sort of a self created situation, you know? And I think about that now and I'm like, God, that person, that woman was so, so like lonely and disconnected from everybody that's important in her life and disconnected from her community or any support system at all. Like,

No one checked on me. Nobody. There was nothing, you know, and it's such a different. Scenario now. It's it's like.

Mike (19:30.616)
Hmm, yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (19:44.975)
we had options to go do stuff with Josh's family. could go with Jillian's in-laws. could go, we were choosing to have our own thing here, like there's, and I could have flown to see my mom or my sister. Like there's just so many options for me now. And I had none, you know?

Mike (20:06.883)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (20:08.375)
So I always feel super grateful at holiday time that I'm not just sitting alone in some apartment drinking by myself watching It's a Wonderful Life. Like this is, you this is great. And yeah, yeah. So that's kind of my experience of that. So if you're listening and you're somebody who is alone over the holidays.

Mike (20:19.554)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (20:36.547)
you know, just know there are people out there who feel you and relate and relate to that. And we're sorry that's happened that way. Yeah.

Mike (20:42.264)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We are. And sometimes it's just about getting through the day.

Lindsay Hiken (20:51.791)
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's another day. Really. I mean, it's not magic. It's just another day. We we just have chosen to celebrate it, which is nice. But so on that sad note, I'll talk a little bit about New Year's. Like I said,

Mike (21:01.976)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (21:18.701)
Or actually, want to ask you a little bit about New Year's. What was the wildest New Year's you had before sobriety?

Mike (21:28.148)
Mike (21:35.656)
sure any of them were really that wild.

mostly would be just staying at a house party. think going out was, I think in my alcoholic mind, I realized that I'd have to wait in really long lines to get to drink the way I wanted to.

Lindsay Hiken (21:56.301)
Mm-hmm. Those damn normies just get in the way, man. Mm-hmm.

Mike (22:00.046)
Yeah. Getting in way of me and my blackouts, so...

Yeah, how about you?

Lindsay Hiken (22:11.215)
So I don't remember it. I've heard tale of what I did, but all house parties. Same, same reason. I didn't want to go. I think we went to a big club one time and then ended up at a house party because it was like. Ridiculous of the club watered down drinks, first of all, so what? Unnecessary. But.

Mike (22:15.286)
Right.

Mike (22:20.461)
Yeah.

Mike (22:33.474)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (22:39.529)
I went to one house party in Santa Barbara and apparently at some point I ended up on some rocks like way out in the ocean. you know, just, I mean, still attached to the beach, but way out there where the waves were coming in and some people had to go get me because I was just chilling out there.

Mike (22:51.692)
Wow.

Lindsay Hiken (23:02.669)
Had some wine out there with me. mean, I was in a blackout. I'd already been drinking with everybody. And for whatever reason, I was like, I'm going to go. You know, I'm going to go be one with the ocean, which. Which I can swim, but I'm not sure at that point I had the ability to take care of myself. And then and they said it was really hard getting me off the road. First of all, I didn't want to. So I was being obstinate.

Mike (23:02.712)
Nice.

Mike (23:13.962)
Go adventure.

Mike (23:22.005)
yeah, that'll be rough.

Lindsay Hiken (23:31.161)
But then when they finally convinced me like, let's go do, you know, we've got cocaine or whatever. I'm like, let me come off the rock. I fell, you know, it's those sharp. Rock, jagged rocks, you know, by like a tide pool type of situation. And so I fell down quite a bit. And so was one of those deals where I woke up the next day, quite hung over.

Mike (23:37.895)
Yeah, exactly. Come here.

Mike (23:46.44)
jagged. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (23:59.661)
and then just bruised and cut all over my body. I'm like, what happened? People were like, don't even just get away from me. We had to get you off these rocks and you were falling into the water. yeah, welcome to 2001. Kicking off this day or this year, right. But.

Mike (24:02.923)
Oof.

Mike (24:12.894)
boy, yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (24:26.937)
trying to think of the best New Year's I've had. Well, so I got sober in November. So when did you get sober? can't remember the month, July. OK. Yeah, I did a November thing. So I just kept being shocked when I woke up the next day and wasn't drunk because I just assumed, you know, it's going to be a mess at the at the holiday. And I got through Thanksgiving and was like, huh?

Mike (24:32.898)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (24:37.326)
July.

Mike (24:47.437)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (24:56.409)
the day after Thanksgiving, like, wow, didn't get drunk and like anger everybody. And then same thing with Christmas. I just didn't have any drinks. was crazy to me. And then when New Year's came around, I was terrified. I did not wanna drink. And I got invited to a sober party.

Mike (25:03.928)
Yeah.

Mike (25:19.192)
Yeah.

Mike (25:22.606)
I was going to ask, you went to, one of those, those, I think a couple of those interesting.

Lindsay Hiken (25:24.611)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (25:29.347)
I smoked a pack of cigarettes though, let's be real. I woke up all raspy from smoking. But have you been, you've been to some sober parties?

Mike (25:31.029)
Yeah.

Mike (25:41.358)
Yeah, but one I can think of in particular was like a AA kind of ish retreat down in Carmel. And it was was nice. It was just different. I was newer to sobriety and I was like, there's a lot of people. I mean, there's a lot of caffeine and sugar.

Lindsay Hiken (25:53.974)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (26:07.723)
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Was that a Asilomar? Do you know? Yeah, I've been down there for that for one. have two a year. I've been down for one. It's great. It's so peaceful. And you're right. There's a lot of caffeine and sugar. And I would kind of walk off the property when I went to. When I went to the Asilomar one, I was like, after this weekend, I'm quitting smoking. So I.

Mike (26:12.512)
Yeah. huh. Yeah. How cool.

Mike (26:34.744)
Yeah, yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (26:37.411)
You know, smoke them if you got them. did. I that. And I did. I've never had another cigarette.

Mike (26:40.527)
my god, yeah.

Mike (26:45.794)
Yeah, I think I've been...

Cigars too. Yeah, about 10 years.

Lindsay Hiken (26:54.259)
no cigars even. Huh. I just I don't know why. I just pictured you with a cigar hanging out of your mouth on special occasions.

Mike (26:55.555)
Yeah.

Mike (27:06.306)
Yeah, I have been out of the urge. Maybe one day, we'll see.

Lindsay Hiken (27:09.755)
Mm Yeah, that's not as big of a deal. I mean, it is if you're chewing on them all the time. But, you know, there is a, at least so used to be a big sober party in the city. Like they had, they start with a huge meeting. mean, there were like hundreds of people there. That's something I did fun, kind of early in sobriety, my first probably. I don't think my first year, but maybe years two through five. It's

Mike (27:15.095)
Yeah.

Mike (27:27.939)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (27:39.725)
So it's in the city, it's mass, it's hundreds of people. And then there's a speaker who, of course, they get a really good speaker because it's going to be. then there's like and then there's all the chairs go away and you're in this big dance hall and there is a dance, there's a DJ. They got all the Red Bull flowing and it's quite fun. then, know, so actually, now that I think about it, that's the few times I went to that was when I stayed up.

Mike (27:46.542)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (27:59.17)
Yeah.

Mike (28:02.955)
that's cool.

Lindsay Hiken (28:09.529)
to midnight. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What else do you, other thoughts about holidays?

Mike (28:10.432)
Yeah, that makes sense.

Mike (28:19.201)
I

Yeah, just, I like to pause and just notice what I'm grateful for. It helps me. It me just kind of reset.

Lindsay Hiken (28:35.919)
Do you have any of those you're willing to share?

Mike (28:41.478)
I, I just noticed, mostly that I'm grateful for my kids and see them happy, you know, on Christmas and, just grateful for the life I have, you know, cause I think, it's easy to say like, I, I want to get another hunting trip in or I want to do this or I want to do that. And just always kind of.

having an itch to do or be somewhere else. But around this time, I'm able to stop, at least for a little bit, just reflect like I'm very fortunate to have what I have.

Lindsay Hiken (29:23.279)
That's sweet. That's nice. I'm going to make sure that I'm doing that, especially when Hilton's here. Because I am grateful for my kids too, and I'm super, super excited and grateful to have him coming out here. Visit me. You said something. I know. So.

Mike (29:42.028)
Yeah, that's gonna be good.

Lindsay Hiken (29:50.507)
You play Santa Claus for the kids kind of deal, not dressing up, but you got to. Wrap everything and so do you guys have to hide all this stuff in your house beforehand or how does that work? Are they the kind of kids that are looking for are they still young enough to believe in Santa?

Mike (29:54.324)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Mike (30:01.198)
Yeah, yeah, I've got a couple hiding spots. Yeah.

Mike (30:10.622)
Yeah, I think my son does. He's eight. And then my daughter, think.

does at least enough because she knows it's in her best interest. I have an outright aster though.

Lindsay Hiken (30:22.799)
You

Lindsay Hiken (30:28.471)
tell me because I just was believing and I started crying and I was like that's not true you would never buy us all those gifts

Mike (30:30.999)
Yeah.

Mike (30:35.178)
no.

Mike (30:39.598)
Lindsay Hiken (30:43.887)
poor. She said that was a little hurtful moment because of course she was buying all those gifts. Yeah. So having gratitude is a really nice way to come into the holidays. What about resolution slash intentions slash what are your what are your thoughts on that? Because I know some people don't do that anymore.

Mike (30:50.505)
Yeah, exactly.

Mike (31:12.91)
Yeah, I haven't had much luck with those. I just never really connected to them. You know, I'm usually if I set one, it's when I'm ready to set them. I think.

Lindsay Hiken (31:21.74)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (31:27.278)
I think it's a good time to start thinking about them, but I've never been someone that says like, all right, I'm going to stop eating red vines on January 1st because that's the day or something like that.

Lindsay Hiken (31:38.039)
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. I have definitely, I'm definitely the opposite. I like to set, and of course I don't do a lot of them. Well, what I would do is write down things that I want for myself for this year. And not like I want a new car, but like, you know, I want...

Mike (31:41.838)
or right here.

Mike (31:56.556)
That's a good I like that.

Lindsay Hiken (32:04.043)
for myself to be cigarette free, for example. I want for myself to practice self-love and kindness and things like that. So I do that more now and I write it down. And then what happens is I don't really look at what I wrote down throughout the year, although that would probably be good idea, but I don't. But I look at it.

Mike (32:07.139)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (32:16.642)
Yeah, I like that.

Lindsay Hiken (32:30.991)
at New Year's time to see what I said and how I did. And what I find is that quite a few of the things that I intended, I've improved on or I actually did.

Mike (32:45.868)
wow, that's... I like that, that's a good tradition.

Lindsay Hiken (32:50.915)
Yeah, yeah, it works for me. I used to be the traditional like, here's all my resolutions. I'm not eating sugar for the entire year. Which is so.

Mike (33:00.227)
Yeah.

Mike (33:05.378)
lot of pressure.

Lindsay Hiken (33:06.799)
A lot of pressure and not really realistic, you One year I said I was going to eat, because I've tried all the different kinds of diets. It was no sugar and no grains. No grains. All freaking year. I'm like, I'm doing it for a year. As you can imagine, that didn't happen.

Mike (33:09.538)
Yeah, exactly.

Mike (33:26.413)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (33:36.399)
I think I made it all the way through February. Yeah. And at some point, I think my body was like, we need a grain.

Mike (33:40.311)
Wow.

Mike (33:47.31)
Not happy with you, Lindsay. We're not happy with you.

Lindsay Hiken (33:50.383)
No, we can't just eat like only meat and vegetables and call it a day, which is it's fine, but not forever. You know, plus training. It's hard to not have, know, you need carbs and sugar when you're doing a long ride or something. And I was eating like nuts. Which my body was like, thanks for that. We're not going to digest that. You're just going to feel like crap now and you're going to bog.

Mike (34:02.178)
Yeah, yeah.

Mike (34:10.092)
Yeah, it's hard to do.

Mike (34:19.508)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (34:20.079)
Because a belly full of nuts is like, what's point?

Mike (34:24.186)
I've done that. I've done that. I just bonked and hit the wall on the Venetia bridge and my god worst ride ever.

Lindsay Hiken (34:36.611)
Did you not have the right food with you or did you run out?

Mike (34:39.126)
I think I just, I just, I didn't eat breakfast before this like 50 mile ride. And I just had, yeah, it was very smart. And then I just had like, you know, some, you know, liquid nutrition for the ride, but I didn't have a base. So I'm like, well, there we go.

Lindsay Hiken (34:44.393)
that's smart.

Lindsay Hiken (35:00.431)
Yeah, failing to plan is planning to fail definitely on a ride and there's no way around it. Like once you don't do it, you're gonna bog.

Mike (35:10.894)
Yeah. And then I'm just there at a, gas station and Martinez just, just guzzling Gatorade and then coming back to life like 10, 20 minutes later.

Lindsay Hiken (35:22.723)
huh. I've done that. Where the gas station has been my been my savior on a team ride. We had like a weekend in the North Bay and. I was riding with the whole team, but my friend Martin had a flat and I pulled over with him and the team kept riding, which was fine. And we were not usually the last people in the group.

Mike (35:29.911)
Yep.

Mike (35:51.394)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (35:52.577)
And so the guy who was driving the van with all the lunch and stuff didn't count everybody. He just was like, these two people, not us, these other people are always the last two people. So they came through and he packed it up and rolled. And we were riding and riding and riding and it was a hundred mile ride. And we were like, where are they parked? Where are they parked? And couldn't find him, couldn't find him.

Mike (36:09.088)
Noooo

Mike (36:14.879)
that's rough.

Lindsay Hiken (36:21.207)
and rode until we realized like they're not here. And then no one's coming for us. So pulled over to like a 7-Eleven type gas station, like a grab and go thing and ate some jerky sticks and had Gatorade. Mm hmm. Felt great.

Mike (36:35.885)
Yeah.

Mike (36:39.852)
Yum. Yum.

Ha

Lindsay Hiken (36:46.979)
And we finally get in there like, there you guys are. We're like, there we are, you guys left us. Yep, yep. And my friend Martin at one point was like, I'm gonna need to not talk anymore. Because we'd been talking about all kinds of things. Of course, I'm running my mouth. And he's like, I'm just gonna need to, I'm a little bit bitter right now. I was like, okay.

Mike (36:52.699)
yeah, those are the rides you have 100 miles to think of like resentments like you mother.

Lindsay Hiken (37:16.451)
We'll just ride in silence for the last 20 miles. OK, I was going to ask you what your intentions are for this this year. But.

Mike (37:16.472)
Yeah.

Mike (37:29.144)
I want to come up with those and revisit that in January. Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (37:32.301)
Yeah, that's a good idea. We can definitely talk about them. I because I was going to say I haven't read my my thing yet. And I'd like to read it before I set them because maybe there's something I'm working on, but I want to, you know, redo one thing I have been doing. It's a little off topic, but it was an intention that I set for myself. And it is a work in progress, which is self care.

Mike (37:44.322)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (37:58.047)
And I think sometimes people think I have good self care because I, you know, take care, I go and get my nails done and I'll go get a massage and I'll do all these things that are that are good self care. But I'm talking about like the inside job. You know, of self care, dealing with that negative inner voice, that kind of thing.

Mike (38:14.094)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mike (38:24.227)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (38:25.163)
And so that's something that I had dealt with. I'd really focused on a couple of years ago and then I thought, well, I'm doing a lot better. But interestingly, the voice came back pretty strong in the last, six months. Just a lot of self judgment for no real reason. mean, just there it is. That's something that.

You know, I think I learned in my childhood, the negative thinking and kept it with me all these years. So I did two things. I am went back to therapy, so I just started a new therapy and the new therapist. I love her. She's amazing. She's. Our first session, she said, now I'm not someone who's particular over Zoom.

Mike (38:55.692)
Nah.

Lindsay Hiken (39:21.175)
I'm not someone who's particularly punctual, particularly punctual. So I need a five minute grace period to start the session. And I totally understand if that doesn't work for you. And I was like, I'm not that punctual either. So we're good. And then she said, and I swear I use swear words and also understand if that's not for everybody. And I was like, no, so do I. I'm like, so this therapist so far is.

Mike (39:35.436)
Yeah, perfect.

Lindsay Hiken (39:49.795)
the one I've related to most, doing therapy and then I'm using an app called Slow Dive. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. It's really cool. It's a meditation app. I there's so many of them out there. They're all good. But Slow Dive has a bunch of different meditations, guided meditations that you can just use a metronome. You can have just quiet with it, telling you, you know, when you're done. But what I like is they have

Mike (39:51.576)
Good.

Mike (39:58.57)
No, I haven't.

Lindsay Hiken (40:19.887)
I don't think music is the word I would call it, but they have, like you can have repeating mantras. So they have an om, for example, and there is some sort of music, but it kind of resonate when you listen to it with headphones, it kind of resonates like deep inside your chest and the om's. So I do a positive affirmation meditation that they have.

Mike (40:30.798)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (40:38.478)
Yeah.

Lindsay Hiken (40:46.605)
and then I do an ohm, so it's like 20 minutes total. And in the positive affirmations, it's just talking a lot about like, you know, I'm safe, I'm loved, and just all the things I need to hear. And so I started doing that. So that's definitely gonna be on my intention list to continue to do that every day, because I've been doing it daily. Now check out Slow Dive if you wanna just.

Mike (40:58.808)
Mm-hmm.

Mike (41:04.846)
That's good, I like that.

Lindsay Hiken (41:10.881)
listen to some sounds that are very very calming. I don't know what it is about them but they I find them to be very relaxing.

Mike (41:16.226)
Hmm.

Sounds good.

Well, you think we did it? Think we did it? No, I think we covered it. I like it.

Lindsay Hiken (41:22.777)
Well, think, yeah, I think we did it unless you have any last thoughts.

Yeah, I think we did too. listeners, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, matter what you're doing or not doing. And we will be back after I think we're going to do a between the holidays that between Christmas and New Year's, we're going to do an archived episode.

Mike (41:54.381)
Mm-hmm.

Lindsay Hiken (41:55.853)
And then right after the beginning of the year, we will drop a brand new episode and maybe Mike and I will talk about our intentions then. Okay, everybody. See you in a week or two. Bye.

Mike (42:03.116)
Yep, sounds good.

Mike (42:08.524)
Bye.